


For Now, Forever, For Always

by captainflintsjacket



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Banter, F/M, Fluff, Marriage Proposal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-29
Updated: 2019-08-29
Packaged: 2020-09-29 22:29:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20443601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainflintsjacket/pseuds/captainflintsjacket
Summary: Self-doubt creeps up on Jim so you remind him how much you love him.





	For Now, Forever, For Always

If there was one thing you prided yourself on, it was your ability to give the perfect gift, moving people to tears with your thoughtfulness on more than one occasion. Even Spock got misty-eyed when you gave him a handmade terrarium replica of Old Vulcan with his mother’s initials engraved on the bottom. The one person you could never figure out, though, was James Tiberius Kirk.

You thought he’d be the easiest, settling for an antique remote-controlled motorcycle he could drive around the bridge. You were almost shaking with excitement when you gave it to him for Christmas but two years had passed and it had yet to leave the shelf in his quarters. You switched up your game for his birthday, opting for a classier holoframe that displayed pictures you’d collected over your time on the Enterprise. His eyes lit up when you gave it to him, but three months later when he finally invited you to his quarters for dinner for the first time, you noticed the batteries had died and he hadn’t replaced them.

“I just don’t get him, Bones,” you said, letting your hands drop on top of your stomach. You stared furiously at the ceiling from Bones’ couch. “No matter what I get, he just doesn’t seem to like it.”

Bones didn’t even look up from his paperwork.“You know he doesn’t like to celebrate birthdays on account of his old man biting the dust the same day.”

“God, tell me you don’t say that to him.” You sighed again, swinging your legs over the edge of the couch. “His birthday’s in two months and I still don’t have anything for him. What if it’s not the gifts? What if he just isn’t into me?”

Bones leaned back in his chair and pinched the bridge of his nose, grumbling under his breath. “I’ve never seen anyone as in love as Jim is with you, and I was married once. Buy a nice lingerie set and give him the best damn sex of his life or something. Now, would you please get out of my office so I can finish this damn paperwork before we go on leave?”

The next few days passed in the blink of an eye, and soon you were touching down in Risa for a week long shore leave while the Enterprise was restocked and repaired. You hit the shopping center with Uhura the first day, still set on finding the perfect gift for Jim. When nothing caught your eye, you took Bones’ advice and settled for some lingerie.

Jim was already asleep by the time you got back, and you couldn’t help but smile at his gentle snores. He worked so damn hard on the ship all the time - not a single casualty in years. What other captain in the fleet could say that? He was so dedicated to his crew and his ship, and all you wanted to do was remind him that everyone on the crew felt the same but you couldn’t figure out how.

You put your shopping bags down as quietly as you could, slipping your shoes off and sliding into bed next to Jim. You pressed a kiss to his cheek, and Jim rolled towards you in his sleep, throwing an arm around your hips and pulling you against him. You smiled softly as you buried your face in the crook of his neck, letting sleep take you.

Jim woke up with a smile on his face for the first time in far too long. “Morning, beautiful,” he said, tilting his head up to kiss you but tasting only the cotton sheets. He cracked his eyes open, a wave of panic shooting through him. He practically shot up in the bed, searching the room frantically. The movement caught your eye, and you noted the panic on Jim’s face before he caught sight of you. He smiled but his shoulders didn’t unwind, and something finally clicked into place for you. “Morning, gorgeous,” you called. You hopped up onto the counter, giving Jim a full view of you in his dress shirt and the lingerie you bought yesterday.

Jim laid still on the bed, drinking you in. Slowly, he made his way over to you, running one hand through your hair and putting the other on your waist. His kiss was feather-light.

That’s one thing that surprised you about Jim. You knew his reputation in the academy. A different girl every night, always hot and heavy. You expected him to be the same now, but every touch was fleeting, as if you were made of glass. You didn’t mind, really, but sometimes you wished he’d let his walls down around you and let instinct take over.

“You’re so beautiful,” he mumbled against your collarbone, nipping your skin and hugging you tightly to him. You could feel Jim’s chest rise and fall with yours, sunlight bathing both of you and making his hair look like spun gold. You ran your fingers through it softly. You could’ve died right then and there and been happy.

Shore leave passed in a blink and the next two months seemed to go even faster until the day before Jim’s birthday finally rolled around and you were practically bursting at the seams. You’d arranged with Spock to clear Jim’s schedule for the day, so you sat waiting, legs crossed, on top of the bed.

“You waiting for something, doll,” Jim asked, catching sight of you as the door slid open. You patted the bed beside you, motioning for him to come sit. Jim rolled his eyes but walked towards the bed, leaning down to kiss you.

“Not yet,” you said, pushing Jim down roughly. He only laughed and pulled you down with him. You would’ve fought harder if his lips weren’t so damn soft. “Jimmy,” you whined, “I gotta give you your present.” You reached over Jim to pull open the bedside drawer, revealing a small box.

“You know I don’t need presents on my birthday. Dinner with you is more than enough.”

“That’ll come later, don’t worry. For now, shut up and open the box.”

“You can’t tell me to shut up on my birthday.” Still, he sat up, crossing his legs and leaning over the box.

“Good thing it’s not technically your birthday yet, then, Jimmy.”

He watched you carefully, smile still tugging up his cheeks. He pulled the ribbon off extra slow to tease you and you groaned loudly. You pressed the back of your hand to your forehead. “James…Jim…I think….I think I see the light. I think this is the end of the road for me. I’m not long for this world…..Goodbye…..Jimbles…..” You flopped dramatically onto your back, struggling not to smile at the howl of Jim’s laughter. You cracked an eye open and saw him clutching his ribs. You snapped your eyes shut again, playing dead, when Jim looked at you again.

“All right already I get it. I’m opening it. Now, get up here.” Satisfied, you crawled up to the headboard to cuddle up next to Jim. Finally, he pried the lid of the box and took out the book inside.

It was a simple leather-bound journal that you’d etched Jim’s initials into. Jim turned the book over in his hands, admiring it as he always did with old books. He opened the cover, expecting blank pages but glued inside was a picture of you kissing him on the cheek captioned, “For J. Know that you’re always loved.”

Jim sucked in a breath beside you, and your eyes darted up to his face. His eyes were glassy, but the ghost of a smile was still pulling at the corners of his mouth as he flipped through the book. Every page belonged to a different crew member, each recounting their favorite adventure or memory with the captain. Behind the yearbook-style signoffs was a collection of pictures of Jim’s father that you got from his mother, along with a letter she wrote for Jim about how proud she was to call him her son, how proud his father would have been.

Jim took in a shaky breath as he finished the letter, and you dropped your lips to his shoulder, kissing him through his shirt. He kept turned the next page, and you watched him thumb through your section of the book. It was filled with doodles, song lyrics, and pictures of the two of you on shore leave. Finally, he got to a page that was blank except for three words: I’m yours, always. Jim traced the words with his finger before following the arrow you drew to the next page, two words: Be mine? You buried your head in Jim’s neck, heart racing, not wanting to see his reaction when he turned the next page. His shoulders rose as he sucked in a sharp breath.

A ring sat taped to the top of the page with a checklist underneath: For Now, Forever, For Always. Jim didn’t move, didn’t breathe, and you lifted your head to look at him. He stared at the ring like it would jump off the page at him, but he didn’t speak.

You started to get worried, pulling away from him. “You don’t have to say yes right now,” you started, barely above a whisper. “I’m in this for the long-haul. I’ll stick around as long as you’ll have me. I swear I would never leave you.”

Jim let the book fall closed in his lap as he turned to face you, slamming his lips down against yours. You hooked your arm tighter around his neck, tugging gently on his hair. He broke the kiss as a sob hit him hard, and you pulled him closer to you, tears threatening to spill from your eyes too. “Thank you,” Jim whispered into your shoulder. “Thank you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on Tumblr @trade-baby-blues


End file.
